Letters to mumbles – 4th September

Hey sweetheart,

You know i can see through all those walls of yours at times dont you? I dont know why you were lying to yourself… i mean I’ve seen it in your eyes of how happy you were with me… i dont think its easy for someone to feel the way you did and have to settle for some random guy. Was this relationship a one way street all this while? Tell me that your love for me was true… You talk about being rational, but where is it when i can see that you are trying to hurt yourself more? You say you cant trust your decisions or judgement, then please dont decide to leave it to whoever mom picks… give it some time wont you? You know why i felt like I didn’t want anyone? Because i was cheated on. There was no going back. So please don’t compare that to this. This isn’t something that cannot be fixed and warrants such drastic decisions. And i bet you feel the same way but just trying to bury that.

You say our relationship lasted so long only because of me? Why do you have to lie about your feelings for me? Am i a fool to not know if the love for me is true or not? We lasted because of me? Really? You are talking as if you never loved me… like you never wanted to be with me… You dont have to try so hard to hide how you felt about me.. I don’t understand why pushing people away is like the only way out for you. I do care a lot about you. And you can trust me the same way you did. You want to know why? Because even after all this pain and hurt i am still here am i not?? Right beside you. Trying to tell you to listen to your heart. You know exactly who i am!! You know exactly what commitment i give to this relationship!! You know me in and out like no other!! I am still right here when everyone else would have quit!! So you know exactly who you can trust! And you say that you are better off trusting some guy instead of someone who tries to be the best for you?

So please stop hurting yourself boo… let me in… if it has to go the arranged way you know i will bring down the heaven and earth to make it happen. The remote position was so that i can be there someday when you are ready. I still put efforts even when we arent talking. Because i love you. I can never love anyone else. You know that. I cant take it to know you are shielding yourself in a negative way… I care for you more than i care about myself…

Talk to me…

Love,
Ajay

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